“Saturday Night Live‘s” last night cold open took aim at Hegseth’s testosterone-filled bravado as the U.S. goes to war with Iran and at Kristi Noem’s unceremonious departure from the DHS after a string of debacles.

Very accurate and extremely hilarious.

Here are a few zingers from the skit –

Now, this situation is complicated, okay?

So let me put it in terms that I can understand.

We’re giving Iran a third-degree purple nurple.

This isn’t a war, okay? It’s a situationship.
Right? We’re just gonna hook up. We’re gonna see where it goes.
Okay? If it feels good, we’ll keep going.
And if we get bored, we’ll start hooking up with Cuba.

If we don’t know what we’re doing, then Iran definitely doesn’t know what we’re doing.
We’re wild. Okay? We’re unpredictable.
We’re like Shia LaBeouf in Nawlins.

You’re all playing chess — I’m playing Grand Theft Auto.

Ashley Padilla playing Kristi Noem —

I didn’t get fired. I self-deported.

And though I may be leaving this job, I will not be ending my mission. As I told my plastic surgeon the work is never done.

The time has come for me to turn in my badge, gun, lips, lashes, teeth and forehead.

I just saw my new office, which is at a WeWork space outside of Denver, and it is spectacular.

Should we laugh or should we cry?

Here is real life Hegseth in a preview of an upcoming interview on “60 Minutes” said this when asked about reports that Russia is assisting Iran in targeting Americans and whether that would place U.S. personnel in greater danger.

No one’s putting us in danger. We’re putting the other guys in danger. That’s our job. So we’re not concerned about that.

The only ones that need to be worried right now are Iranians that think they’re going to live.

In this article “Pete Hegseth’s Moral Unseriousness” at www.theatlantic.com/…, Peter Wehner writes about Hegseth –

The defense secretary appears unable to approach matters of life and death with even the slightest bit of reverence or humility. All of his instincts are toward aggression; he appears to relish the destruction and death that he can now unleash.

There’s a callow performative, light-as-air quality about Hegseth.

The secretary of defense also appears to be a restless, troubled soul; he refers to his “somewhat difficult past.” He has faced allegations of financial mismanagement, alcohol abuse, and sexual misconduct, all of which he denies.

Hegseth tries so hard—too hard—to project a tough-guy persona, as if a lot of unresolved issues, a lot of brokenness, are playing themselves out in his life.

The same could be said of trump and his deeply damaged soul.

What else can expect from these troubled sociopaths? Let’s make sure the rest of the electorate feels the same revulsion most of us do. Let’s neutralize this non-stop gaslighting, let’s keep spreading the truth and let’s help open a few more eyes.

Source: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2026/3/8/2372222/-Colin-s-Hegseth-nails-it-on-SNL-Cold-Open